I’ve decided to quit attending Sports events. I have 12 reasons why:

1. No one ever came to visit me after I went there. I would have thought the coach would look me up, or at least a player or at least someone would call. Nothing!

2. Every time I went, all they seemed to want from me was money.

3. The people sitting in my row didn’t seem very friendly.

4. The seats were very hard.

5. The people in black and white made decisions I didn’t agree with.

6. I was sitting with hypocrites—they only came to see what others were wearing and to make fun of them!

7. Some events went well overtime and I was late getting home.

8. The band played some songs I had never heard before.

9. The events are mainly scheduled on my only day to sleep in and run errands.

10. My parents took me to too many of these events against my will when I was growing up.

11. So I don’t want to take my children because I want them to develop their own appreciation and then choose for themselves what sport they like best.

12. Since I read a book on sports, I feel that I know more than the coaches and black and whites, anyway. That makes it frustrating to see them all mess up.

So, instead, I’m going to church more.

That’s my resolution.